Re-versed lyrical trash

Space Cadet, 15/02/2001

Censorship can at times come as an unpleasant stain on the bed sheets of humanity. Even the sleepy ramblings of a Space Cadet can be soiled by those upon the thrones of power. So it was with much pity that the intended story for this week was pulled on learning that the target of ridicule would likely take offence. Instead, I'm taking the safer option of ridiculing Christians. Well, the middle-American fundamentalists, anyway. Always a cheap shot, always a worthy one.

Before you take offence, let me justify this. Here's the chorus from the song "Hey! Hey! We're not Monkeys", our Chrisitian fundamentalist's variation on the better-known "Hey! Hey! We're the Monkeys":

Hey! Hey! We're not monkeys!
Never drank primordial soup!
We're the folks God created
Not an evolutional fluke!

Utter crap, I'm sure you'll agree. This is courtesy of Christian fundamentalist Nancy L. Mari (whose site is now dead) who writes, "Today's music is today's language. We have written lyrics to help the Church speak today's language. If you want to use these lyrics in your praise and worship, go ahead. Just send us email at mari@ultranet.com to let us know how it went...

If the evil inflicted on The Monkeys doesn't convince you, cop a load of the damage caused by Nancy's lyrical shotgun when she pointed it at Nirvana with Smells Like Holy Spirit:

I´m inspired, I´ve aflatus
Two thousand years; that´s some hiatus
Evolutionary theorists, come debate us
God´s the Man, He...did create us
We´re His fish - watch Him come bait us

There's also a heinous shot at Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay:

Yeah, I'm sittin' at the end of the pew
Waitin' for church to get through
Sittin' at the end of the pew, wastin' time...

Nancy adds, "Some newfound friends of this webpage have sent us their own re-versed lyrics; we'd be happy to post yours, too!" Please don't encourage her.