Painter of Light, King of Kitsch
Space Cadet, 11/08/2000
Thomas Kinkade Painter of Light™ is the champion of wishy-washy
scenery. Here he is describing one of his works:
"My 'Paris, City of Lights' could be titled 'The Kinkade family
in Paris.' I've set the time machine back a few decades and
included myself (in the red beret), painting the fabulous Cafe
Nanette. The real Nanette, holding baby Chandler, hails a cab,
while our oldest daughter Merritt looks on."
This only hints at the sentimental banality of his work. If you
have not heard of him, you may still have seen his art on greeting
cards from your granny; Frances Bacon he is not. But do not be
mistaken. The man is no fool. At 43, he is the most collected
painter in history. An original Kinkade could set you back
$500,000. There are 300 of the horrible things. Over 90 galleries
across the US specialise in his prints.
Take a look at his site, thomaskinkade.com, for the
fuller picture – and buy it, framed in antique gold effect, if you
want to. I had a look at buying the print "Petals of Hope" from
Kinkade's "Garden of Promise" collection. I popped it in my
shopping basket. 16" x 18", $715, shipping not included. I didn't
buy it in the end, because it was crap.
Kinkade's target market is a frumpy cardigan with commemorative
plates and porcelain dolls wanting to hang his
blandness-on-a-canvas next to the family's flying ducks.
Remarkably, Thomas Kinkade (Painter of Light™) is the only
painter quoted on the New York Stock Exchange, the laundering
courtesy of Media Arts Group Inc. Shares sore because people
believe in his message that his paintings are "silent messengers in
the home relaying messages of peace, hope and joy."
On his web site, Kinkade evokes as many Americanisms as are
possible in one paragraph:
"I didn't realise 20 years ago that the appeal of the simple
life would become one of the enduring themes in my art. But I think
simplicity is what attracted me to these native American subjects.
I imagine the purity of a world where all your material possessions
can be packed on horseback and carried from one spectacular setting
to another. Such a life, lived in perfect harmony with nature, is
truly a work of art."
This coming from an artist who turned over around $120 million
in sales last year. Kinkade's fluffy words sit less innocently with
a letter I stumbled upon from Media Arts to its investors:
"Our unique business model incorporates the Thomas Kinkade
lifestyle brand, branded products, controlled branded distribution
and strategic partnerships... We have the people, knowledge,
processes and strategies necessary to create the leading art-based
lifestyle brand."
You see, it's not just paintings that he pedals. The lifestyle
brand offers much more. You can buy a plastic representation of his
painting Beacon of Light (page now gone). It's a lighthouse
and cottage that light up with two AA batteries (not included).
Or worse, you can buy a La-Z-boy recliner-chair or sofa in a
Beacon of Light fabric (or any of 85 other fabrics inspired by
Kinkade's paintings). See www.lazyboy.com/kinkade for
pricing.
There's also the Kinkade serving tray, the Kinkade stool, the
Kinkade blanket trunk, the Kinkade Drawer Unit, the Kinkade Nesting
Tables etc. from Penoka.com (page now gone). Oh, and the fridge
magnets (to put you off your food) and the screen savers (which, it
has been suggested, turns your computer into a Day-Glo
nightmare).
Looking around the web for Thomas fans, my search threw up
almost half a million pages. As I explored a few, my thoughts grew
much darker than the pastel shades, tasteless flowers and dire
Kinkade-inspired poetry that punished me for visiting. Midwest
housewives of the USA unite – your web sites are even more hideous
than Kinkade's corporate kitsch. For evidence, see:
Ann, for example, tells us that her hero is
Kinkade. And I think she speaks for all fans in saying: "There is a
world on top of the mountain where bluebonnets and violets live". I
don't know what she's talking about really, but after reading her
diatribe on why it is a good thing that God doesn't have voice
mail, I made my escape. Much like the others, Ann is a bit
weird.
At least there was one site doing its civic duty and calling
Kinkade Public Enemy Number One (sorry, this page has also gone),
urging visitors to burn his work (link now dead). Not sure this
goes far enough. In my mind, Thomas is sitting atop the inferno
holding the can of petrol.
