Failing to communicate with women
Space Cadet, 23/06/2000
Thursday 22nd June was Ladies Day at Ascot, where galloping
fillies were watched by horses in big hats. Traditional rules say
that a bare-legged woman is breaching etiquette, and if she is a
divorcee, she should keep out of the hallowed Royal enclosure.
Aren't these slightly outdated concepts? Well, they're not the only
ones. This was the same week that one of my colleagues, Stephen,
mysteriously received an invitation to a seminar entitled
"Communication Skills for Women." (Only £129 plus VAT; register now
at www.pryor.com).
Subtitled "Achieving confidence, credibility and composure" the
brochure claims that in a single day, you will "learn how to say 'I
don't know' and avoid clumsy bluffing and faking!" Surely this is
just a tad patronising?
The 9.30 to 4.30 course offers some little gems:-
- "unique tools that enable you to overcome the
inherent difficulties of communicating by phone";
- "staying in control in emotional
situations";
- "office gossip: how to stay tuned in without
becoming part of the problem";
- "how to express yourself "when you're really
mad"; and
- "Slang – find out when you can use it – and when
you can't."
Conscious that I might be of the wrong sex to question such
training, I spoke to some working women. Mandy (I've changed her
name on request) was quite taken by the sections on "the 5 golden
rules of gossip" and "It's OK to get mad". Will she be attending?
"Nope", said Mandy (getting mad, but hey, that's OK). She suggested
they might as well offer an additional course on "How to keep your
boss satisfied in bed."
Jenny (I didn't give her the option to change her name) said:
"Ha! Women who need to go to courses like that shouldn't be
working." Strong words indeed. Jenny particularly liked the claim,
"We've found that learning is easier, more relaxed, and more fun
for you in an all-female environment." While this may be true for
Stephen, to whom the invitation was addressed, Jenny is not so
sure.
When I last asked Stephen if he was going (the attendee section
on the registration form includes both a 'Mr' and a 'Ms' option),
he replied that he hasn't decided yet. But he said this with traces
of both clumsy bluffing and faking.
.
