Britney and the RouterGod

Space Cadet, 20/12/2003

If Sainsbury's gets magic-man Paul Daniels to open its latest supermarket, it's because he might draw an audience that wouldn't otherwise take notice. On the same rationale, semiconductor physics would be less popular if it wasn't for Britney Spears.

Britney's Guide to Semiconductor Physics has been running on-line for a while and anything it lacks of pop classic Baby, One More Time it more than makes up for. Britney does a fine job of teasing us with her flirtatious thoughts on vertical cavity surface emitting lasers.

OK, so it's just a bunch of stuff on semiconductors with piccies of the lovely Britney thrown in to keep us entertained. But without the piccies, we'd just have the semiconductors. More piccies, I say. And here's my favourite entry from the site's Guestbook:

"I like britney so much. When I know this website it make me feel exiting to see her in many picture. She very cute and sexy. love you, wi"

A competition ran for re-wording one of Britney's fine songs. Here's a chunk from the scientific remix of Oops, I Did It Again (the site's only entry):

"Oops, I spilled it again,
It burned through the door,
Made holes in the floor,
Oh bugger, bugger."

The theme has caught on. RouterGod, "The Online Magazine For Cisco Professionals," is my favourite incarnation. For the non-techie, Cisco makes networking equipment, including routers. These devices determine where to send little packets of data on the internet – essential whenever we send an e-mail. Some Cisco workers run RouterGod, helping networking professionals through guest lectures and celebrity interviews. It claims a million hits daily.

For example, Gary Coleman (former star of Diff'rent Strokes and current shopping mall security guard) explains Priority Queuing: "Good golly miss molly, let's get down to business. I have been asked to come here and tell you folks about Priority Queuing and how to configure it on a Cisco Router..."

Clueless-star Alicia Silverstone explains basic ISDN – "ISDN is essentially just a telephone call. Do you want every gnarly surfer dude from the valley calling your router? No waa-aay! Like hello? Is Alicia home? I'm sure! Next thing to configure is a dialer list to define interesting traffic."

Coke-star Robert Downey Jr.'s interview on an ethernet frame has an editor's note: "Robert Downey Jr. is a trained, seasoned professional. Do not attempt to consume illegal narcotics without first consulting your theatrical agent."

I also recommend Don King on IP extended access lists, Gillian Anderson on LAN switching, Liz Hurley on the Cisco 2600 and Anna Nicole Smith on the 1900 series. Regrettably, I can't recommend Paul Daniels for anything.

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This column is (normally) written by The Space Cadet. The comments and views are his and his alone. They do not represent the views of the OUT-LAW.COM team.